Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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