FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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