My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
