how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
