so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Houston, we have a blender
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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