he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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