somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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