i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Barsexuality is the new black.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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