You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
