can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
