Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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