She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
