I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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