doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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