Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
