I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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