no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
