did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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