Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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