remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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