i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
