Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
