Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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