so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
