Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
