I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
