Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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