i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
