I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so explain again why im purple
no
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
