im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
