I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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