"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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