What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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