He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
