if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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