She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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