Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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