$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
