nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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