This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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