I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
