just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
