and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
