I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
