a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
