theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
