dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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