the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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