any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
