Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
