Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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