i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
