what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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