absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
